A new machine

A NEW MACHINE  The doctor asked the expectant father to try out a machine he had invented that transferred labour pains from the mother to the father. Billy agreed and the machine was set up. But although it was set to its highest setting, Billy felt not a twinge. Later that day he went home…

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Where's the shoe

WHERE’S THE SHOE? One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.  The next night the man and his wife were driving to…

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The arm was guilty

The arm was guilty A man was brought before the judge. The witness said that the day before the prisoner had stolen some pears from a basket, outside a grocer’s. The solicitor said to the judge: “It is true that the prisoner took a few pears with his right arm; his right arm is guilty,…

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Elevator

Elevator A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.The boy asked his father, “ What is this father?”The father (having never seen an elevator) responded,“Son, I have never seen anything like this in…

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The Bum…

The Bum… A bum approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. “Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?” The well-dressed gentleman responds, “You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?” “No, sir, I don’t drink,” retorts the bum. “You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are…

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Bố mày! Ðã chết với tao chưa?

Một anh, nhà có giỗ, vợ vừa làm cỗ xong, đặt lên bàn thờ thì một con ruồi đến đậu ngay lên đĩa thịt. Chị vợ vội kêu lên:– Thôi chết rồi! Mâm cơm cúng ông bà mà anh không coi cẩn thận để ruồi nó đậu vào, làm uế tạp mất rồi!Anh chồng nghe…

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Quan lớn mua vàng

Theo lệ ngày xưa, ai làm quan thì mua món gì cũng chỉ phải trả nửa giá tiền, trừ mua vàng phải trả đủ.Một ông quan nọ vừa đến nhậm chứa, bảo hiệu vàng đem hai lạng đến bán cho ngài. Chủ hiệu vàng nghe tiếng quan dữ như cọp, mói bẩm:– Vàng mỗi lạng…

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Bẩm toàn chó cả

Nhà nọ thấy quan lại tham nhũng, trong lòng rất khinh. Một hôm, các quan đến nhà chơi, trong số đó có cả mấy bạn đồng song thuở trước. Ông ta bảo người nhà dọn rượu thết.Người nhà bưng mâm lên, ông ta đứng dậy thưa:– Chả mấy khi rồng đến nhà tôm, các ngài…

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