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A NEW MACHINE  The doctor asked the expectant father to try out a machine he had invented that transferred labour pains from the mother to the father. Billy agreed and the machine was set up. But although it was set to its highest setting, Billy felt not a twinge. Later that day he went home…

WHERE’S THE SHOE? One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.  The next night the man and his wife were driving to…

The arm was guilty A man was brought before the judge. The witness said that the day before the prisoner had stolen some pears from a basket, outside a grocer’s. The solicitor said to the judge: “It is true that the prisoner took a few pears with his right arm; his right arm is guilty,…

Elevator A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.The boy asked his father, “ What is this father?”The father (having never seen an elevator) responded,“Son, I have never seen anything like this in…

The Bum… A bum approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. “Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?” The well-dressed gentleman responds, “You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?” “No, sir, I don’t drink,” retorts the bum. “You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are…